Starships are meant to fly

To my friends who I think is reading this, i hope you don't misunderstand what I meant when I say I don't want to share your problems. To me, when my friends tell me their problems, it affects me mentally, like their problem becomes a potential problem I could face in the future and sometimes it gets pretty negative and down for me. I just feel like I want to be there for you guys when you need me, but I just don't know if I can make friends who would matter as much as you such that it's worth it for me to be more cynical and negative about life. So yeah, I just feel like I should meet more people, make more friends and see the different characters in life. I would make close friends if I ever have a chance to, but I guess part of me feels that it's pretty unlikely so I'm trying to rule out the scenario so I wouldn't be disappointed.

I can't say how happy I feel today, I guess it's not just happy. But more of like a familial feeling, a contentment and security that's beyond what I have with all of my friends. I guess it's cos I've met you guys at a period of my life where I would always want to go back to. And to share the memories with you guys is something I wouldn't ever want to lose or let go. I have faith that it's really possible for us to be friends for a lifetime and I will do my best to make sure we can reach that goal! Haha! I feel like some cheesy person. But yup!

I guess I want to recreate myself, like what car mentioned. I want a beta test to see if I can be a better me and if by being different, i can be better, I want to change. Or improve. It's a matter of perspective I guess. It's not that what I am isn't good enough, but maybe what I could change to be would be better. Or maybe I just want to step out of my comfort zone and routine of sticking to a clique. Well, I don't know, I guess car really did ask a good question! Hahaha, I will probably try to think if I can figure out a better answer!