i'll be better when i'm older

i can't believe 2009 is going to be over in an hour.
this year has been filled with so many lessons and memories i'll take with me for the rest of my life. i've learnt who means more and those who don't matter. i've learnt that if i want something, i've to work for it, good things dont come easy. i've learnt that when in bad times, you can only depend on yourself and altough there will be people around to help you out, it ultimately depends on you. working has taught me that life is not easy and it will be worse as i get older. i learn that money dont come easy and how important it is. i've learnt that i'm stronger and more determined than i thought i was.
i've seen who are the ones i want in my life in the later years and those who are just passer bys.
i've learnt that nothing is forver, not even love. i guess as we get older we learn that there are no fairy tale endings. love can't keep us alive.
In 2010 i'm going to sort out my priorities, know what i want and make sure i remember what is the most important.
In 2010 i'll let go. i can't chase anymore.
Next year will be so much better. i can feel it.
my dreams my hopes everything will get so much clearer
change, thats what i need.
i can't wait for 2010 to come

too late

i'm so nervous thinking about results and worrying and regretting and thinking about maybe i should have. i hate all these worrying and not knowing what to expect. like srsly if the day i take results and i did super badly and my parents give me the i told you so look i'll be so angry and so sad like i dont know what la. i hate how insecure i feel nowadays like i was hearing the radio and it was like o level students and my heart skipped a beat. i thought they were going to announce the date for results. i hate feeling like i'm going to do so badly and just screw up my life or whatever there is to screw up. i'm so scared.of doing badly, of falling out of expectations, of seeing the disappointed looks on my parents, of seeing everybody being so happy but me doing so badly.
i dont know what to expect or hope for now. just let me get into mj and i'll be the happiest girl ever.
i wish.
i hope that i wish hard enough for it to come true.

for those who wait

i've finish my nora roberts book and i feel that it was as awesome as angels fall. it makes me remember why i believe in love and all the magic it brings.
i'm still sixteen, so i guess i'm entitled to some naivety and fantasy.
okay, i'm going to sleep now. kushinbo and shopping with mummmy and jo tmr. i'm actually thinking of getting a new cam but that would means buying less clothes and whatever i want. but i guess i have to buy smth to commemorate myfirst real working experience. i like the key pendant blair wear in gg so much. i'm thinking tiffany. sigh, i'm so excited and sleepy.
can't wait for next tues tooo. miss everyoneee!
till then,
believe in magic


she was everything he remembered and sought to forget
everything and more

caught

hello!
i just came back from ikea and it is quite chistmasy there, very red and there are like short christmas trees for sale and well, everything is cute and warm!
ate at sushi tei and it has in my opinion won sakae sushi by like gazillions points. i've been buying more stuff lately so as to reward myself for working so hard. and yes, i've got a sunday off!!
last thursday shi ju and sharon came over to bake. we had lunch at pizza hut first and went to do grocery shopping at fair price/cold storage(they are like the same). seow shi cant push the trolley and she often get distracted by distracting things like care bears (??!!) in the super market?! srsly, they should not sell care bears in super markets. Okay, so we decided to bake apple crumble, but it didnt turn out pretty cause i sifted the flour thinking i've to even though they didnt say i've to and being such an idiot, i told ju to sift the flour. it didnt turn out to be crumble and it ended up being like doughy. i'm so sorry!!! but very surprisingly, it turn out good, although the apple was tooo sweet in our opinion (except shi cause she is crazy! hahahha). overrall, it looked ugly but tasted great.we talked and ate and they left at like 8, which was so late i have no idea why they're not scared cause my house is so ulu!!!! i love you guys, everything is just so simple, grocery shopping and looking at cooking videos and searching for taylor swift monologue song and laughing and discussing blog posts and looking at laughing at my ugly baby pics (shi u're so bad can! i dont look that hilarious!!!). well, it was just so comfortable and simple and well, happy. it was so sweet to me. love you guys!
last tues i spent it with Renice at marina barrage, we bought sushi and snapple and juices and cream puffs and chips! we ate and talked and talked and finally decided to fly the kite but after several unsuccessful attempts we gave up cause it was too hot and we were tired running around like crazy ppl hoping the kite will start flying! the weather at marina is crazy. its very hot but also too windy. never wear a dress/ skirt there cause it will probably fly up and well, you know... we escaped to starbucks (like we needed it so badly!!!) and drank and talked. after so many years of not meeting and talking, things have change slightly but i still feel that we are still best friends in our hearts. i love you darling, i hope we go to the same jc and break hearts and move on and talk more and well, just spend more time tgt. i hope to ssee you real soon! at snow city next time (why do we go for extreme weather?!) i didnt realise how much i miss you and best friends forever! enjoy your prom and be the prettiest girl there! step on that idiot shoe!!! hahahha
i've no idea why i type such a long post but i guess i just feel like talking today. i've been feeling rather troubled like thinking of the results and like knowing i cant change anything but i want to know how i did and like well, i just kind of wish i'm thinner. i dont know why i just feel soo, sigh. you know like insecure and stuff. haiya. dont want say alrdy. bye!!! can't wait for hai pai tian xin tmr!

the words we kept in our hearts

Hello! i really love hai pai tian xin episode this week. i cried when she was dj-ing and he was looking at her.
today is a bad day. a make mistakes day for me. i make so many mistakes i'm so irritated. and everytime the boss tell me off i feel so pissed cause i will be like regreting why i am working. i need to change this bad habit soon.
sometimes i really hate working but i need to persevere to prove to myself i'm stronger than what people thinks.
anyway i read 8 days and it is aout fiona xie this week. shes right about one thing. about being happy and just enjoying life at every moment. i wonder if i can do that even after i grow up. i wish i could but i know life is not always that easy. thats why i know its impossible to be happy forever. okay, i'm being very negative now. thats because i'm watching this mv for like on repeat mode! it makes me sad and regret. go see!!! PLEASE!!!!




anyway i'm meeting renice tmr. i cant wait cause i havent meet her for like 2 years alrdy. and i miss her like hell! at marina barrage, we're having a picnic and flying kites and taking pictures. sounds very romantic right!? hahah.

shi, i'm so sorry for not planning the chalet so soon. i'm sms-ing everyone soon to plan! miss you shi and ju!!!! see u guys on thur. lets hope we dont have our period. hahah.

okay, toodles!!!

what you didn't know

hey.
i'm so tired. watch couples retreat with cheryl. i think it just show you the real stuff that happens after you get married but also reminds you why you get married in the first place, and how much you love each other and the passion you had before. i still believe that it is possible to stay happily in love even after you get married. and i'm only more than sure i must marry the one i'm sure i'll love forever. (lol. i'm talking like i'm married alrdy!?)
anyway, i think working is so freaking tiring! i was like yawning when i was with cheryl.sorry!
sigh. i'm only looking forward to tues with Renice and thur with shi ju zing and sharon!!! and gossip girl and hai pai tian xin!
anyway, listen to this song by ding dang 你為什麼說謊. its super nice!

你不能说我没有爱过
说我没等过难过
我也想说也许能重来
我却还是沉默
你一直问我的心到底在不在
问我怎能不遗憾就丢失爱
而我的泪怎么就流下来

regret is always the most beautiful

i have been working for 10 hours for 3 days!
i'm tired. but i guess i can still hang on.
hope i can dont work on sun than can go out with cheryl.
tues will be with renice and thur wild wild wet with sharon zing shi and ju!
i must pamper myself to makeup for those hard work everyday.
can't wait for hai pai tian xin new episode!!!
tilll then, toodlessss

thankful

i always love gossip girl thanksgiving. this year thanksgiving is so much more scandalous than the previous one.
today marks my second day of work and my feet is so sore from walking and standing that it is peelingg!
anyway today i worked the morning shift and open the gate and set up the stall alone! first time opening the metal gate thing. hahah. it is not as east as it seems. plus i've learnt to fry donuts and coat them with sugar and make custard cream.
i cant say i love my job but i think i'm getting used to it.
mummy says she hopes i learn how hard it is to work and she says she hope jo will go work too. working is so tiring and sometimes i feel like giving up. you will have thoughts like why the hell am i doing this?! i dont even do stuff like this at home! but myabe i'm too spoilt or i'm growing up.
But i'm proud of myself. 'm not going to quit. just finish it to the end of dec or maybe till first 2 weeks of jan. maybe i'll become more mature and good. hahha
Santa is always watching.
imagine all the presents i'll be buying for myself and everyone.
till then,
toodlessss!


when will u learn my love that some secrets can't stay hidden

time of our lives

I've just watched hai pai tian xin.
sigh this week episode is so freaking sad! and the thing is they didnt even meet like face to face after da lang became handsome. i cant wait for next week episode! i think da lang is so much nicer than the new da lang but i guess he cant save innocent and stupid forever. sigh, i just wish he has more da lang moments, cause thats when i love him the most! & rainie is so poor thing this week! i hate her mum! so mean to pull them apart. sigh. i just can't wait for next week episodeeee!
Anyway, i've got a job alrdy. although the pay is rather low, at 4 dollars per hour. oh, and its at a bakery near my house so i just walk there and back. it was the first time yesterday and my legs hurt like hell. imagine standing for 7 hours! i've learnt to operate the cashier which is really fun! hahah. i've learn to pack the breads into their plastic bag and cut bread into equal pieces using this really scary machine. this machine reminds me of the sec 2 days where u use it to chop the wood or smth. its constantly vibrating and it looks like it can chop ur fingers into pieces!!! i was so scared to operate it at first but after the first 2 times it gets better. another hard part is carrying the tray of bread everytime it just come out of the oven! its sooo hot u can not imagine! but i manage rather well although inside i'm so damn scared and cursing. i was just slightly burned but it was okay after awhile. hahah and not to mention i have to sweep and mop the floor. which is i think the second time i ever mop in my entire life. sigh, sweeping and mopping is so tiring cause it gives u back aches.
Nevertheless, i made a really nice friend! her name is alicia and shes from china. shes super nice and friendly and she help me so much.
Okay, this sums up my first day working. i have to work again later. sigh i dont know if i should be happy or what cause at least now i'm occuppied. and i sleep so well at night.
okee dokeeee bye!

pss
Shi, yup we should have a bbq or chalet soon! u are coming back tmr right! hahha. u come back than discuss bah. miss u! and i want to see ur photos. watch hai pai tian xin soon!

heart

sometimes it seems like no matter what you do,
you have a way of creeping back to my heart.
but who am i kidding, you have always matter, more than anything else in the world.

i've just read Renice blog.
Dear renice,
u seriously think i dont care?! you meant more than anything in the world to me.
rollerblading at your house block and making you take off the skates while hugging the pillar.
primary 5 where we cried when we know we wouldnt be in the same class and people think we are crazy?! primary 6, chinese lessons at 6E class where we would sit at the back of the classroom and converse in baby voices and write in our notebook. after school hcl lessons where we would fight and pretend that we dont care about each other cause our pride is to big for us to apologise to each other. And hiding at level 4 staircase listening to our mp3 and crying over jerks. and preparing for prom and sleeping and talking and swimming and eating bee hoon over at my house. and crying non stop at the end of prom and hugging each other so tightly that ppl think we are crazy again.
how can i forget all that we have shared?
you mean so much to be darling+best friend x5
always have, always will

even when they try to take us down

Hello!
life has been kind of good. but slightly boring. hahah but i'm enjoying just being lazy and watching videos after videos.
watching America next top model is great. i think the most amazing thing is that some girls are not that pretty but they can look so good in front of the camera. and the most amazing thing of cycle 13 is that everyone have to be 5 ft 7 and below. which is i think less than 170 cm? its so cool right! not that i ever want to be a model. its that its only fair that everyone of any height can dream of being a model. sigh. i think its so cool that tyra banks care to make every girl dreams come true. haha. i hope that i can be like that one day. like able to help people realise their dreams. sigh. hahah. i dream la.
okee dokeee. bye!



We're all grown up now but still playing hide and seek.

want my revenge

Prom was okay. but not awesome, pictures another day perhaps.
life is so boring now i'm practically dying.
i spend the whole day catching up on all the gossip girl episodes i missed and i cant wait for the next episode.
i should probably find something to do soon.
okeee dokeeee, bye

how much longer

Now that o levels is over, i'm having mix feelings about it.
i miss being so damn busy cause then i will be able to appreciate every moment i get to relax. now, i can't even do something that seems productive. maybe cause i dont have lists to follow now, dont have stuff i've to do, must do.
sigh. i'm practically dying from boredom. pet society is getting too boring. watching dramas hurt my eyes and i have this constant ache at the back of my neck. i'm so irritated!
But back to more interesting stuff, prom is like 2 days away! i'm so excited, i think i've got a perfect dress, which i send shi and cheryl the pics. hahah. i'm excited from prom. it reminds me of the prom i had back in p6. it was kind of silly but sweet. so many stuff that happened and didnt. primary school has always held a special place in my heart, i guess it always will. but i think its time to move on.
i've everything i need in my life now. i'm going to find a new passion for the coming two months. maybe a job or i can go do something meaningful.
now, the only i look forward to is getting my results and pray i get into mj and not disappoint daddy and mummy with my o level results.
till then, i guess i can just do whatver i want...
hahaha, okay i'll come to update after prom, with pics!

pss. i love lady gaga Bad Romance, and shes performing on gossip girl, how cool is that?!

you say it best, when you say nothing at all

hey.
times are passin so fast and o levels will be over in one week time.
sigh. i didnt know how well i did this time but as mummy says, i must have positive thoughts and than positive things will come to me! hahah!
okay. i must jiayou! for this remaining week. i can do it!

guess

Today is the last day of tuition. its like the best tuition ever cause everything is nice and sweet. we even took photos and we got the teacher a jersey and hes so shy its so cute!
i'm kind of sad that its the last day.
but i guess i should be used to goodbyes.
i'm getting better at them.
so little days to o levels. i dont want to count.
i can do it. i really can. but even if i didnt. i tried. thats all that matters...
till we get our results.
okay. more postive thinking!!!
I CAN DO IT!

hanging on, holding back, letting go

Hello!
this pic is so nice right?! played with sparklies during mooncake festival!
i'm in a cheery mood today!
Going to stop using the computer so much.
Going to chiong!(like what mrs liew say)
i believe i can do it cause i have everyone supporting me. thank you mr s! i couldnt tell u i felt motivated at that moment. but thank you for your concern.
its just a few months away to the end of the exam. i'm looking forward to then.
bye!

the fallen

I wouldnt't say prelims was bad. it's HORRIBLE. i think i'm dead. its freaking 28 days to o levles and i feel like i'm nowhere near prepared. i dont know why am i still online. i don't know why i'm not doing my damn tys. i dont know why i'm not inspired to work harder. but sometimes, just when i'm about to give up. i thought of how much mummy have done so as to make sure she could do her best to give me everytime i need. i think of teachers who were always there to help me, and cheryl who did her best in anyway she can to help me.
i feel bad to have disappointed them. to still not work hard.
maybe i'm not falling. maybe i fell. too hard. alrdy

No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of the fall,No one is afraid to play, they are afraid to lose, no one is afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what's in it, no one is afraid to say "I love you", they are afraid of the response.

you can't take that from me

i hate the holidays.
hate studying. hate being me!
i really wish i can start studying soon.

Nothing.

i'm feeling horrible. Not myself. Unhappy.
i feel tired, i feel that everything is so long and i can't carry on further.
i feel lost cause i've lost so much that matters to me.
i feel burdened cause i can't leave behind what i've lost.
i feel unhappy cause i'm not longer contented with what i have.
i feel tired cause i no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel.

right from the start i've all i wanted. but now i've lost everything.
i wish. i wish i could will back the past. will back all that used to belong to me.
then, maybe i would be happier.
then maybe i could tell you everything i wanted to say.
then maybe we could return back to how it used to be.

falling

I can't believe gossip girl is starting soon. the temptation to watch is so big. ): but no. i won't succumb to the temptation. but who am i kidding?! i've watched every preview availble.):
Prelims is horrible. i'm going to fail geog. and i study so hard for it! i can't believe i write the wrong lorms ):
i must must study hard during this one week hols. i can do it. like what our principal say. if we can't do it, who else can?

Oops!

lets see, prelims have started and what have i been doing?
oh watching silly videos and not doing any serious work.
hmmmm, maybe i'm already dead. so why not enjoy before i die.

hmmm, maybe i don't want you anymore

hello!
haven't been posting much.
ir is offically over, and i'm a happy girl! but studying havent been very productive lately. i can'e do science like at all. math and a math is totally so much better now.
i don't hate my life anymore. i just hope that it gets better.
chinese lesson opened my mind to so many stuff. i think i should start reading chinese philospophy books. hahhaha.
i feel like swimming now, but its like 8.30. hmmmm tmr then.
okay got to go, anyway tmr is chinese o level results thing. GOOD LUCK ADEL AND SHI! A1!
bye!

We're all looking for answers. We all want to understand who we are. But sometimes we want to know so badly that we believe just about anything.

lost and forgotten

I'm feeling lazy.
i didnt even do anything productive this weekend):):):
sigh. i've to go study soon sooon soon.
i want national day to come quickly. the long weekend and the fireworks and the colours.
i'm not tired. just bored and out of my skin.
sigh...

when time means everything

want nobody nobody but you

i read this:
"I always wondered why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on earth, then I ask myself the same question."

it got me thinking about the freedom passage we read. why are we scared when we're about to face the thing we've always wanted the most. this week has been lots of thinking stuff bubbling in my head. i 've always tried to imagine how things would change if i chose to do smth else instead. i think i've always been dwelling in the past. i can't forget, can't stop wishing, can't move on.
talking to shi make me think about what i used to be and how i'm still what i used to be. sigh. i dont want to think of such stuff cause it just screw me up and like make me so sad and all that shit.
okay, back to reality. life is pretty much horrible, but i dont think its going to be as bad as o levles. i'm hanging on. hahah. okee dokeee. bye!


learn to look and you will see more than others

and we say hello to goodbye

Ran 2.4 today and i passed with like 15 smth. like srsly the first time i passed/do well. anyway, i called and told mummy and she wasnt surprised. and when i went home and told my maid i passed, she told me my mum prayed for me in the morning.
its like so sweet right?! and she didnt even tell me.
sigh. it makes me all warm and gooey inside. and the last time i went all warm and gooey and was blushing was when i saw Torres(a football player) on tv. god, hes damn hot. like megan fox hot. sigh. i want to be megan fox hot too.& if i'm that hot one day (i am entitled to my dreams okay?!)i will like go tattoo my body tooo. HAHAH!!!!
okay, this week is going by so slowly. i'm so going to screw up the upcoming formative test shit. and prolly perlims and my freaking O's too.
nononoonono. its all about the attitude and how much i'm willing to work for the results. i can do it. i can.i can.i can.
anyway, i've been hearing songs, like theres, before the worst, before the storm all that. i think people should start thinking of after. like after the torturing hell like o levles. i swear i can't freaking wait for o levles to be over. till then, i will just like sleep study and eat.
well, tata!

PSS: i love all miley songs!

Standing out in the rain
knowing that it's really over
please don't leave me alone
Flooded with all this pain
knowing that i'll never hold you
like I did before the storm

so close yet so far, its tearing me apart

Have been studying and studying and reading and then sleeping.
i can't wait for O's to be over. i'm not going to screw it up.
3 more months. i can do it.

you were almost enough, almost worth it, almost mine

for all that it was worth

i'm tired. my right arm hurts and i dont know why and i didnt realise it till like i went swimming. i'm tired, i want to sleep/study but i'm tired slackish and sleepy. i'm sick of school and o levels but i'm used to it all. o levels is too soon and yet so far away. i don't have much time and yet i'm wasting time. all i want to do is drink coke and read nora roberts storybooks but i've so many homework and obligations. i dont want to disappoint and yet i'm not even trying. i hate my life but yet i realise i'm so damn lucky comapred to so many others.
i can see where i want to be.
But i just can't see how i will ever get there.
i've almost everything i want
But not the damn thing i want most.

i'm tired. so damn tired.

you only know what you've lost till it's gone

i'm so goddamn tired. after i came back home from a stressful period of ir i plonk down and slept till dinner. i've yet to reply msgs from shi and cheryl. SHI DONT WORRY FOR YA ORAL! i'm sure A1 is in your bag alrdy.
anyway, just a quickie update, i wrote the check for my tuition worngly like AGAIN. god actually i didnt write it. cheryl did and i just told her what to write wrongly. mummy laughed it off and asked me what was the staff reaction. well i guess shes resigned to the fact that i will give her late payments forever. hahaha.
anyway, have been reading a little of cheryl's book. regarding Princess Diana. makes me wonder about so many stuff about life. like how she has so much but not the only thing she ever wanted. it makes me more sure that life is all about the choices you make. like if you make a wrong choice, your life would turn out totally different. and though there is so much in life, there's only so little you could ever have. well, life is fair and unfair like that. i wonder if princess diana passed away with regrets, like knowing she has soo many stuff she wants to do/see but has yet to do it. i don't ever want to leave like that. cheryl, i know what i want. i want to be happy and to be able to leave this world without qualms or any regrets. i'm going to live life to the fullest and make use of all i have. which is sooo many, compared to the less fortunate people. sigh, though i still think its sucks to be me, i guess i should try to make it rock instead huh.
Smile Always!

you,maybe

i'm so tired. have been like sleeping alot. school is so draining.and with ir now, god i'll probably die.
last sat
studied with sharon at starbucks. i think we talked more. hahah. like srsly we've so much things to talk about. and if you're reading this sharon, I WILL NOT DO (you know what) until year 2. hmpf, plus i bought white choco mocha cause i really want to try it and not cause i'm so lame to prove you wrong. haha seriously. but who am i kidding, i think sharon of all know me like inside out. haha. year 2010? and i know only 5 football players:0
okeee dokeee not making any sense. i'm going to go read or do some hw. glad tmr is youth day. omg i could totally make use of tmr like really. heeheexxxx.

I see the sparkle of a million flashlights
A wonderwall of stars
But the one that's shining out so bright is the one right where you are

he could be the one

omigod, was watching hannah season 3. episode 18 on you know where (youtube!) and its so nice. shi if you're reading this GO WATCH NOWW. sigh. i love hannah shows.
been reading and doing homework these days. rarely watch tv now. which is a good thing. and i should like really start studying for prelims so i wouldnt regret and al that shit. YES ZING I CAN DO IT!
life sucks but i guess i'll just wait for it to rock.
heeheex. so gay.
omigod i love hannah and jake and the prom book and nora roberts murder book and a math minus area and dydx and phy. like seriously. hahaha.
okeedokeee, i'm going swiming and then time to hit the books.
cyaaaaa

thought you say it was easy
listening to your heart

life is a bitch

School is starting tomorrow. i'm going to use the com less. still going to read my nora roberts murder books(god they're better than love). going to study my ass off and just dont have a life cause thats what o levles is. all i wish is that i can get into mj and like totally not regret and hate myself cause i didnt make use of the miserable 120 days left. i have miley cyrus The climb to keep me going, and so many sweet encouraging besties. i can do it. get over the 4 months + 2 weeks of exam. I CAN DO IT!

you can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare

look before you fall

i'm glad school is re-opening. cause since i didnt make use of the june holidays to study, i most probably will just waste the extra one week. plus its not like they're going to push back o levels right. god, how much i wish they can do that.
sharon & i went over to zing's house today. studied swam talk and talk and talk and ate lunch at jacks place took photos, but not with my cam cause i'll most probably not upload or send to anyone. & we're going to do that like everyday after o levels and learn smth new and likehave a freaking life.
oh and i realise i've like 600++ photos in my phone and like god knows how many in my cam. and i've yet to upload like half of it. i'll do that after o lvls. i srsly can't wait for o levels to be over. till then i'll stop using the com so often and probably study till i'm like half dead.
kay,bye!

cause it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now

young wild and free

sorry i haven't been updating and posting photos! i guess you guys should just get my memory stick next time. sorry!

last fri, 10 of us:
me, ju, cheryl, shi, adel,carina,odelia, emm amanda and zq went to emm house for a bbq. watched hannah montana movie first and it was good but i expected more. bbq was really fun, hahah took pictures played truth without the dare and drank alot alot of stuff. hahah ate half cooked and mostly cooked food. it was great. i love spending time with all of them, after o levels we're going to like have it again and again and again. haha! love you all much much!

yesterday
me sharon and zing had steamboat at sharon house. watched monster vs aliens and it was so funny i laughed like hell. dom(sharon's bro) was scary but still nice. hes like what i was in pri sch. without worries and free. we went to barneys and i lovee the swing. i love how i can swing and lie back looking at the sky and my hair flying wildy cause of the wind. hahah okay, thats like really exxagerating. WE MUST GO TO BARNEYS MORE and we'll talk and dream and cam whore till we get so tired we just fall asleep with smiles on our faces. hahah love you guys best!

today
studied with sharon at macs and we took pictures, drank milo, ate hershey pie, ate slighlty uncooked fries and borrowed storybooks. talked and laugh. sigh. i love talking and laughing and cam whoring.
i can't wait for o levels to end. i wish it would end really soon. and i'll go to mj and be happy. sigh.
i'm really kind of high now. hahha, dont know why! bye!

if people were rain, i was drzzle and you were hurricane

no expectations

cip is horrible, but i'm not going to talk about it cause its unfair to the kids.
after cip, sharon & i went to mc (not spelled as macs) :0 and we talked. sharon is like the listerner and the talker kind. i guess i told her stuff i should have told her long ago. among anyone i know, sharon gives like the best advice. and like after saying everything i guess maybe i feel less alone. sharon was like looking at me and asking if i have like xin shi. hahah, i think we've alry established a type of friendship where you can just look and know like how each other thinks. sharon is like someone i wish i will be if i ever have to choose to be someone else. hahha. okay, like i just typed a whole paragraph of sharon.
today shi told me stuff and i felt like so bad. like i couldnt help her feel much better than shes feeling now. she reminded me of like soo much stuff. maybe i should have told her about what happened to me before. i just felt like theres so much more i could do but i'm like not doing anything at all. sigh. thats why i hate my life. like srsly. Fml.
reading r's blog let me realise we've so much in common. i guess that sometimes people that we love and meant so much to us, have a special bond with us, forever. i love the word forever. its like right after how much i love the word fuck. but fuck is like really more applicable to my life.
i wish i'm not me.

heart on my sleeve;why can't you see

waking up at 5 plus in the morning is horrible but luckily mac breakfast and stupid cheryl makes it slightly better.
my life is horrible, my results is worse and i hate everything about being me.
i wish i'm hannah or taylor swift.
Sigh. ice cream before tuition. i hope everything goes back to normal.
i love taylor swift songs and her lyrics are like really cool.
hannah is awesoome as ever.
and i just thought about something. i think guys hate bof. cause its like every girl fantasy. hard to beat huh. hahah

You lift my feet off the ground, spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

Reality sucks

EXCUSE ME LOH SEOWSHI!
WHAT NO INTEREST. I BET YOU DONT EVEN HAVE INTEREST IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN WELL, BOF OR SMTH ELSE. MY STORYBOOK IS VERY NICEEE ONEEEE OKAYYYYY!!!!

sigh, the weather is soo horrible now, my skin is like really sufferingg. sigh, and like i'm getting really upset abt my results cause after i push aside those encouraging comments and all those nice things, reality is like everyone is improving at a much faster rate... sigh. but like sharon and cheryl said, i must stay positive and continue fighting!
i'm actually quite over bof but not so over gu jun pyo, who still continues to be the love of my life at this moment. sigh. i think i'm facing the horrible reality nowadays, like love dont really exist, dont fantasise, like guys that are hot and rich dont actually like poor girls. sigh, the world is a cruel place... just like the weather, which is sucha bitch. like srsly, what is wrong with the world!!!! sigh...
oh and cheryl & i have been talking alot these days and when 2 very clever girls talk obviously they come up with smth clever... hahah! okay, i'm weird, i think its because i'm like really hungry. and kfc snackers and bubble tea and custard bread and kfc really good lemon tea is not enough! hahah, i'm like hungry half the timeee, and like if u read cheryl blog when i'm hungey or pissed over the freaking weather i get really weird and crazy and stuff. hahah. okeeee dokeee gotta go runeeeee and eat dinerrreeee. hahaha.
oh and tmr is renice birthday, and we've yet to meet up this yearr. i feel so excited for her. ahhaha. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING!!!! although u wont be seeing this but you will be my best friend x5 forever and everr and everrr. happy sweet 16!

answers are not always there even though how hard you look for them

i've just realised that i want to marry like all the male leads of my favourite dramas. like how i want to marry chuck and then jun pyo. hahahha. like what if one day they all come find me to marry me?! hahah. not very possible, but a girl can dream...
sooo, i've alrdy fought a very strong urge to re watch bof, and have been instead turning into my storybook. which is a good choice ppl, cause reading is fun and good for ur vocab which gives u 5 marks in comprehension. reading about arsonists and fires and all that. its really scary but nora roberts have once again made the story perfect. if u are wondering, its blue smoke. and like if u want can go read angles fall too. its not all about love, theres like a real scary plot going on. i love how nora roberts is able to combine family, love and a plot into the story. like how important she sees family and love is really touching. okayokay, checking scripts left will be done after tues and it will be back to normal lessons. must start studying soon. FIGHTING!
(:O and thanks to all those who keeps encouraging me to continue to study hard, you guys are the best! and special thanks to cheryl, my results esp physics wouldnt have been possible without you :D)

what you're looking for has been here the whole time

I've been watching and going gaga over boys before flowers. Gu jun pyo is the one i want to marry. like even if hes older than me by sooo much i want to marry him! haha. hes like the sweetest thing everrr. okay, after mid years i have been like really slacky. should start studying soon!
mid years is quite encouraging. but i'm still barely there and teachers are quite or if not not very encouraging.but at least i improved.
sigh, o levels is sooo near but yet its like taking sooo long for it to be over. but after talking with cheryl and all that, i'm like more determined not to flunk my o's. and miss yeo words are like constantly nagging at the back of my mind. like how important it actually means to our future and stuff. like i've told cheryl, i hate regrets. and i would like really really hate it if i'm going to regret not trying my best for o's and like cry like shit when i get that damn results slip.
sigh, i hope things get better soon. something is like bugging me and i can't sleep well... sigh. like now, even gu jun pyo is like not so important... okay, this is getting weird. hahah. must be positive!
anyway, this is a really cute video of gu jun pyo. it melts my heart and makes me happy. so go see okay!



sigh. he's like chocolates.
chocolates can make you feel like you are in love''.

oh and taylor swift new song! really good!

Prom & First Loves

Gossip girl is awesome.
i want to marry Chuck Bass.
well, i want to be Blair first, and then marry chuck.
Chuck is the sweetest man like everr. he is so sweet to blair.
Read:

Blair: If it's real, we'll figure it out, all of us. But if it's not, then please, Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.

Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her, and I can't make her happy.

Chuck, you can make every girl happy!
Carina & i were like talking about how sweet and hot and romantic chuck is, in comparison to unromantic, ugly and think HDB proposal can actually work type of s'porean guys.

sigh.
Carina. we'll definitely find our chuck, and live happily like Blair. Be optimistic!!

Shopping with jia yi cheryl and sharon today was fun! we talked and gossip and ate and drank and walk like miles and miles. haha. it was fun but tiring. Plus bus ride home today was superr scary.i was like sitting alone and suddenly this freak sat beside me and my eyes like almost popped out cause he can like sit like at other empty seats! & like this stranger was like totally staring at the freak too. like hes expecting him to like do something. and luckily the freak didnt. like okay, maybe i'm paranoid.hahah.

sigh. i'm going back to my gossip girl. where life and boys are actually better than real life. well, at least they dont like scold you hokkien vulgarities when you did nothing to them at all.

sigh

falling too fast

Have been mugging real hard lately(i think). there's so many concepts to clear, so many stuff to do, so many notes to write, so many things to memorise. this mid year is like the exam i work hardest for. i think i'm doing tooo much for chemistry. i'm spending too little on a math and physics. like srsly if i screw this mid years up, i'm fucking dead. but at least i tried.
but trying is never enough.
nothing is ever enough.

the chances i'm taking

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreamin
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"you'll never reach it".
Every step I'm taking.
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction.
My faith is shakin.
But I gotta keep tryin.
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

The Climb

Miley is awesome.
Hannah Montana The Movie!!!!

Legacy Project- for cheryl

cheryl. all the pics are here. not going to send it to you via email.
thanks

love is a fallacy

Okay, maybe not goodbye yet.
just wanna update about my life now.
Intensive revision(ir) is getting more bearable and i even enjoy it sometimes.
English paper is really screwed up. But its over so i'm going to stop brooding about it. But, the setter is like so mean!!!!!!!
Anyways, after english paper today, sharon and i went to white sands macs to study. amanda and huiqi joined us for lunch and i tell you, never have lunch with amanda and hui qi unless you want to die laughing. i couldnt stand both of them (they are like soo freaking funny! note: amanda, i didnt use any vulgarities!). i went to pee cause i couldnt take it anymoree. they are soooo freakinggggg funny. hahah.
And as you can seee, i'm in a really happy mood today cause renice texted me and we are meeting this wed for lunch. i know its really near mid years, but i have to have lunch with her! We're finally meeting after soooo long. i miss her sooo much. can't wait, omgzzz. hahaha
okay, jo is nagging. byes!

when we have everything to lose;

With Ir coming up, i think i'll be using the computer much lesser. plus mid years is like so close. life is so horrible these days. Debate on monday is really stressing me up, like we can't come to a agreement on stuff. and i'm slowly losing my voice. need to start swallowing the pi pa gao.
i need to stop watching soo much tv and gossip girl and together. i mean, like i should really really start studying before i totally fuck midyears up.
So, like odelia, goodbye world.

hope less

First day of school is surprisingly okay.
i'm going to really really try my best for mid years.
i've unsuccessfully resisted the urge to watch together. which is really sweet.
who knew mars and rainie are quite the couple. and mars is really really sweet.
which reminds me of this book i read recently. which is really really nice. the first book i am going to buy. i cried like soo many times reading it. and re-read it again. sigh.
oh, jia sen is back.
anyways, will be busy from tomorrow onwards. have a math whenever i'm free and like theres intensive revision in 2 weeks or smth.
yes, what i need. self discipline.
FIGHTING!!!


"why?"
"Because he wasn't you."

always have always will

I can't believe the holidays is ending so soon.
i wish it could be just a bit longer. sigh. have not done much revision and i still have holiday homework. i hate hate hate heymath and asknlearn. its like so freaking useless. hmmm. too much of skins, now everything bad you just feel like using the f word. they use it like so freely, like everyone use the f word like its no big deal. hahah. skins is nice. far worse than gossip girl. like more drugs more sex more problems.
okay, i'm going to go do a math. bye!

Sid: What you have to say to me?
Cassie: I love you forever Sid.
Sid: You will?
Cassie: Yes...that's the problem.

!

Hey
didn't realise i haven't blog for sucha long time.
anyways, holidays have been okay so far. just school and study.
i'm looking forward to friday, when we'll be celebrating sharon's birthday!!!
i read it from this yahoo thing, that having something to look forward to relieves stess. i don't know if i'm stress but i ought to be judging from my results. god, i better do smth about my studies. so now is less computer and storybook time.
i'm going to work hard early(though its alrdy too late) for mid years and prelims and O levels.
Gossip girl is disappointing this week, i expected so much more. its like they are sqeezing many many info into one episode and just let you swallow it down without chewing. haha. thats really weird.
i miss jia sen in together.
okay, i think i watch too many shows.
oh, and heres a belated birthday msg to sharon!


Happy 16th!
we've known each other for more than 10 years and have soo many wonderful memories together. thanks for being there when i need a friend and for giving me advices when i need them. i'm really lucky to have you as a friend.(hahah! this is really mushy!) i hope we'll be best friend forverxxxx. and muaxxxxzzz! hahaha:D

you make me want to tell better lies :O

i want
Gossip Girl. the producers say they are ending the season with loads of omfg moments. really really can't wait.
and after gg and together ends, i'm going to study and stop using the computer so much. just now i was just training jelly in pet society and i realise how stupid it is to do smth so useless when i could be studying instead. so fb is useless. hahah remember that. i'm going to study more with cheryl. hahaha. studying with her is quite productive.
i want
mocha. frappe.
and i want loads of storybooks.
from now on, i'm restricting myself to less tv time. more study and reading time. it feeds my soul. hahah
oh, and ode. thanks for understanding what i tell you. although i don't think i told you whatver i've to tell you properly but i think you understand. your latest post is reallly sweet. thank you for understanding!
I've this feeling that school life is going to get better. hahah. i hope!

Bye!

tell me

today is a great day.
at least i think of it that way.
spa was so screwed! i couldn't get a triangle at first and mr tang was just starin at my set up while i was trying to get a triangle. its funny. but i still think its not that screwed(i hope!) although i was srsly out of range. but yay! spa is finally OVER. OVERRRRRR
Stayed back after chemistry remedial with cheryl to do a math. i manage to do quite a few and cheryl, shes just too damn weird today. hahah. she's super high and she even sang. Imagine that. a high cheryl is a scary cheryl, please remember that. we took bus 31 all the way to tam interchange and slept the whole journey. it rained heavily but i love the feeling and the sound of rain. it is.... inspiring.
cheryl saw a rainboww. thats really awwesome. how i wish i saw it too. its never the same with just looking at pictures of rainbow. its seeing and feeling it. i think it just feels you up. like you just took a long milk bath and your skin feels soo pampered.
hahah. okay thats weird. bye!

Take me now

I WANT GOSSIP GIRL NOWWWWW!
CW just comes up with soo many previews of all the stuff that is coming up and its soooo tempting!
Chuck and Blair and then Chuck and Vanessa and Blair and Nate and Dan and miss Car and serena with NO ONE. omg.
i hope gg ends soon, though i will hate for it to end. i'm going to go study really hard after gg and together. yesyes. must. mid years is like in 2 months time according to C xiao jie. haha yes you cheryl. thanks for buying shoes for my pet! and for waiting for me today! you are a good best friend :D
bye!

"i'm losing her"
"well then fight for her"

give me something to hold on to

School has been really tiring.
i can't catch up with a math and e math.
and i've done horribly this term.

Miss yeo has this innate ability to tell what you're thinking from your expression. its scary in a way cause she probably could see every single shit you're currently thinking. i guess its experience. i'm surprised she haven't talked to me yet. But i guess she will be soon. its like you're having a conversation with someone who knows what you're thinking in your head. its scary. whatever. all i want to do now is just forget about everything and bake heart shaped cookies with pale pink icing and read my storybooks and just freaking screw up O's.

But i guess i just have to just work hard, work harder. and just believe in myself. Anyway,i went home alone today, which gives me time to think over stuff. yesterday i went home and sharon with abi and sharon said i seemed to be in this bubble which she can't poke through. i was lost in my thoughts i guess. i didn't even hear them calling me.
&today, as i walked home. it started to rain small little dops of rain. its peaceful, cause everything else didn't seem to matter at that moment.
the rain relaxes me.
sigh. i'm really really confused now.
till then... bye


"Damn it, kate, what else do you want?"
"Nothing you can give me. Nothing we can give each other."

Like poles

School has been good. but waking up is too hard.
today is a happy day. its Odelia's birthday.
HAPPYYYY BIRTHDAY ODELIA!!!!!!
thanks for waiting for me to finish physics remedial and for your constant encouragment and jokes that make me laugh like hell. it has beeen really nice to know you! i'm sooo sorry i didn't manage to buy your present today, but i will, really really soon! may all your dreams come true, and i know it will, so have faith in yourself!
Anyway, i've watched To get her. and realise if you just link them up, its together. its soooo cute right?! haha! i love rainie. shes a awesome actress. and i don't think her hair is ugly. it suits her role.
okay. i don't have much to say. soooo bye!
cyaaaaaaa sooooonnnnnn.
getwelllsooon juliana! and shi. come back tmr. you lazy pigggg!

why life is really unfair(ANGRYYY)

Staying at home is really boring. i'm dying from boredom.
i sleep tooo much. i didn't even study at all.i'm going to die just catching up with school work.Nyway, miss yeo called early in the morning like 7.45. like obviously i was sleeping. woke up to update her on my condition and she was like you've to get clearance leave yaddaa yaddaaa. sigh. i was even thinking of going back to school tmr for mock spa but i don't think the doctor is going to allow. my sores are like mosquito bites. and its not even concentrated like at one spot. i don't have fever or like loss of appetite. no sores on my mouth yet. so why can't i freaking go to school?! this is so unfair/sad/horrible.
i'mm feeeelinggg sooo bored. i sleep more than 12 hours. and just rot at home when my spots/bites are not even close to pictures i found on the net on ppl who have hfmd. freakkkkkk!!!!!!
):):):

Picture Post

If you're wondering why i'm so nice to post pictures, it's because i'm super free. i've mc for one whole week cause i've contracted mild hand foot mouth disease. i know! like this is for young kids right, but it is caused by virus in the air(-.-) and people with low immune system gets it. so i've only like 6 spots on my hands and legs. nothing on my mouth yet and no fever. so its not that bad. but i somehow got flu, which makes me really tired, but not too tired for rainie new drama (!!!!). anyway, thanks to everyone who wished me get well soon, i can't go out cause its contagious. miss courageous crab is coming over to my house tmr cause she thinks she very clever, will not get the disease. hahha. miss crab, please help me bring my chem textbook and my mopiko. the rashes are quite itchy. if you're seeing this. well, i'll still sms you later.
okie dokie. i'm going to sleep. bye!
pss: i sound really cheerfu; and its not because of the one week mc kay, haha okay. that really helped make me happy. but one week of missed lessons. i imagine how i'm going to suffer when i'm back. see you guys soon! miss you!!! i want tobleron(did i spell it right?)

Give only what is yours to give

Valentines day is heart shaped balloons, chocolates, flowers, pictures, smiles, love songs, laughter, jealousy and happiness.
haha, that sums up yesterday and today. happiness is what i felt spending valentines day with my family and obviously i feel jealous looking at happy couples. who wouldn't? well unless you're cold blooded or a person who can live without love.

Nyway Cedar Fiesta was good, had fun catching up with eli. Cedar is definitely more fun loving than tk. oh, and valentines day is tuition with sharon and zing and nice female classmates and a bunch of insensitive opposite sex. stupid sexist bunch of cowardly morons. they say girls are stupid slower blah blah blah. i was really controlling my inner anger/hatred/venom that is almost going to burst out, and kill all of them. goodness me, i've never met such low life creatures. well this is generally out to those who don't respect females. take back your sexist comments and go get a life, oh no. i forget you don't have one, well at least learn how to. cause if you don't start thinking, you'll never ever have a girlfriend. really, what were all of you thinking before you said whatever you said.

on the bright side. i've learnt to control my anger. really. sometimes i feel sooo angry i can really explode. it has been so long since i felt that way. which brings me back to the times where i've childish boys as classmates. sigh.

On the side note, next gossipgirl episode is on 16th march Carina!!! i know you'll explode if you see this. haha. go catch previews of gossip girl at youtube. its interesting, its about gossip girl guide, two videos. one is "blairanoid" and the other is "ment-whore". bet you'll love it.

bye! & happy valentines day!

i want change

Exam week is finally over.
i'm not exactly that happy cause i think i did badly.
i'm tired of settling for just passes and i tried my best alrdy.
i think i need to change.
everything.
from my attitude
to my goals
to my lifestyle.
i hope i stick to it.

i'm tired.

School is horrible. Trng was cancelled but i didnt make full use of the time. nevertheless, i guess i'm totally not touching the computer from today onwards to next thursday. after thursday, i'll rush home and catch up on 6 episodes of The Concerto. Eddie Pang and Yan yan is perfect for each other. i love them!!!
Okay, i've nothing much to say alrdy.
bye!



"i want more"
"so you always have. more what?"
"more everything."

16

HELLOO!
I want to thank everyone who wished me happy birthday and gave me presents and all that. thank you!
Thank you to Cheryl Emm and Carina who arranged to cake eating ceremony. i love the candles. The cake is also super delicious! thank you all for all your efforts put in. i'm really touched. thank you!
Thank you to Seowshi and Jia yi who tricked me into believing you got me a non practical present. love the tee shirt. Thank you!
And to Cheryl, for the keychain, cake and everything you've done and planned. thank you soo much darling!
And to Odelia, haha. taking a break now! thank you for your kit kat.
And to hildy for your bracelet, i love it! thank you!
And to Ju, Zing Sharon and Abi, thank you for wishing me happy birthday, and the belated birthday present.
And to Renice and Alvina who remembered. thank you soo much!
Love you all. you guys are theee BEST!

Today is a just a normal day. its just feels like my birthday cause everyone is wishing me happy birthday and giving me presents. Nevertheless i feel really toched.
After School was Swensens and tampines mall. Odelia is by date the funniest person i met.She's too daring, funny, comical and haha. i don't know lah. just so funny. Plus shes really motivated to do well and all the effort she put into studying just shows me how much i can actually do/ should do. you're my idol too!
Anyways, i'm too lazy to upload pictures. yes lah. i know. haha will send whoever wants picture soon, so you guys can go upload instead.

Anyways, gossip girl latest episode is just OMG. DAN IS SUCHA MALE BITCH! though he just broke off with S it doesnt mean he can run off and bed his teacher! and that teacher is also sucha a biatch. how can she seduce dan! I love how episode 17 ends. like the irony. i love irony.

I'm going. bye!
Happy birthday Jocelyn! and whoever birthday falls on 5th feb too :D

when it all falls apart

i've not watched a new episode of gossipgirl.
i've not started my revision my next week CA week.
i've this deep deep hatred for studying.
i've not been catching up on topics/subjects.
ive been wallowing in self pity for too long.
i think i want/have always wanted someone to throw me a life vest.
i want to see hope and i want to be assured everything is going to turn out fine at the end.
i want to be happy.
But why it does it seems so impossible to even achieve what i at least want/need.

i'm turning 16 in two days time.
happy birthday Jocelyn

i want to see the world

Today,
cheryl lost her handphone. Cheryl, its the third time, how blur can you get!
someone asked emm for her number. which is like the funniest thing ever. cause he looks like a sec 1 and he's sooo sooo short! okay. i'm so mean. sorry!
i satisfied my kfc craving. & hated myself for it. i hate kfc, you just crave like hell for it and after you had it, its like oil in your tummy. makes you too full.
Now,
i'm irritating cheryl with my msn icons or whatever shit you call it. i love irritating cheryl.
i'm angry cause mummy will not be coming back for dinner on my birthday. Sigh.
So, you better
remember my birthday is on 5th Feb and give me a present.
And call me mei nu.
HAHAHHAHA!
I'm soooo weird today.

what you gonna offer now?

Happy Birthday Priscilla!
sorry i forgot (again). i brought you a present!
Badminton was fun today. but i really hate setting up the equipments.
For lunch i had japanese curry katsu don which made me sooo full. goodness. that woman is too damn generous. oh and steamed egg.
Shopped for pris present with jia yi after lunch. wished you joined us cheryl. stupid cca.
i'm having kfc with cheryl tmr. can't wait x1000000. thanks for waiting for me to finish my stupid geog remedial.
On a side note. its very windy today. too windy. so i guess me and jo is not playing badminton. plus. shes angry cause i dropped her i touch on the floor. goodness. what a horrible sister. i did not do that on purpose plus, its because she refuse to give me the cornflakes goodies.
Okay. ba kwa time.

Pulau Semakau

I love Pulau Semakau!
Its the place where you will get to see sooo many plants and rocks. there're like soo many rocks and grass and this pokey thing that poke my butt :/ i love the sea breeze and the clouds there. Its like nature. maybe its because we've been surrounded with buildings and cars all the time that we don't get to see and appreciate all these simple stuff. I'll definitely go again if i've a chance.











okay. i dont know why the photos are all in a mess. haha. but i chose like the best pictures out of the shots. so if you guys want the not so good pictures you can tell me. haha!
bye. & happy cny!

take time to realise, that i'm on your side

Trying to study physics. i don't know why i'm blogging cause i'm just wasting my time. Haven't been catching up on lessons. should have been more strict and study blah blah blah.
i'm quitting whining bout sec 4 life. i'm just goint to go through it and hopefully come out happy that i actually achieve what i want.
Pulau Semakau tomorrow. i'm actually excited cause i heard its fun. maybe i can take really nice photos of us all. happy photos.
okay i'm acting really weird. should sleep more.


It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

When Did Your Heart Go Missing

Chemistry test was so screwed up. like amanda said, i probably understand physics so much more than chem. 've been sleeping too much during lessons lately. i got to sleep more, plus my complexion is suffering.
Pizza Hut with Sharon just now. i like siglap, its really quiet and nice.
Anyways, GG this week is really good. except for dan & serena. i like the new teacher rachel. but i guess shes really in for something, bitch blair is in for a war. Can't wait for the new episode.

10000 lovers

I'm really really tired.
I've to finish studying physics cause theres a quiz tmr. Plus Mdm T said that if we didnt do well, it justs reflects on our attitude towards physics. & of course i don't want to show her my lousy attitude for physics. but i'm really sick of phyics. I'm just sick of science. i hate chemistry and physics and e math and geography.
Okay, i'm whining too much. should shutup. but i want to whine alottttttt.
I can't wait for friday. going shopping with zing and sharon. something nice to look forward to in this gloomy week of formative tests and timed assignment. but srsly, why must they give us a test which is only 15 mins? they might as well test us everything. this way, we will really know what we don't know what. this is stupid.

Empty

School is really tiring. Plus i've got shi's sore throat now. thank you ah Loh SEOW SHI!
Anyways, i guess my chinese o level results wasnt as bad as i thought, but all of us expected the worse. I hate waiting for the results. Plus before we got the results slip ju and i was like crying alrdy. when its my turn to sign (after waiting for the longest period of time in my life), my hands was like shivering lah. i can't even sign. so i just scrawled smth on the paper (although my normal signature is also scrawly hahah!). all this just shows me the reality of life, like if you don't work hard you will regret and cry like hell but you still can't change anything. but if you work hard, you could be the one crying out of joy. so i guess i just have to work harder for O's! Plus i really want to slap my big mouth for promising loh seow shi the greedy pig swensens ice cream if i get A1. And shi, its only half a bubble tea okay! stop amending our contract!
Tmr is lunch box day. i think its really cute we're preparing lunch boxes instead of queuing at the stupid canteen.
Okay, gtg. i really really can't wait 4 new year!

maybe we're trying, trying too hard
maybe we're torn apart
maybe the timing is beating our hearts

Too much to lose

I'm feeling really horrible right now.
Cause at tuition, 2 girls were discussing what jcs they were planning to go to. which reminds me that i'm getting chinese results on monday. So, i got really jumpy and nervous. & my heart just keeps havingt this really bad feeling, those that you get when you are getting back your result, and my hands start to turn cold and my teeth hurts(i know my teeth?!). And everytime my teeth hurts i get a headache. i'm feeling really nervous typing this out cause the above symtoms are starting to act up again. okay, so i called mummy just to hear her voice, which comforted me quite a bit. But it reminds me how lonely i am, cause i just can't find someone to call or text. cause i'm not used to texting someone and say: i'm feeling really horrible right now cause blah blah blah. So, i decided to go sleep, which helps my headache to stop aching. I'm really really nervous thinking about the results i'm getting on monday cause it just defines everything. like if i didn't get my A1, i'm damn dead. and i've never ever gotten so worried about something before, not even for psle or final year. Cause i'm sec 4 this year, everything i do, every result i get seems too important. i'm so scared of being scared, of failing and i'm so scared to disappoint mummy. And just thinking about all this just get me so stressed up. i can't afford to do badly for normal chinese. i can't. even when i've lost so much, did so badly for chinese last year. i wish... i really really wish i can just get the damn A1.

This is for you stupid cheryl! make me do so much work. haha, okay lah. i'm a willing party. anyways, i will help you print ss next week k. this week cnt sry!
Seeya tmr!

when the clock strikes 12

Hello!
School sucks.

10 random facts since school started
1. climbing to the fourth storey is really really tiring. *inserts pants & deep breath intake*
2. my school bus has mysteriously filled up. goodness.
3. the view/air on the fourth level is definitely better
4. i've got mrs L for chem. well, need i explain more?
5. I hate banding. goodness why must they band everything?!
6. i wish i did my holiday homework during the holiday so i wouldn't be suffering and whining now!
7. i wish lessons will end faster and i get to sleep more. which is like impossible.
8. i hate homework, hate homework and tests!
9. the canteen food hasn't improve since last year. sigh. they should have gone for enrichment classes during the dec hols.
10. i wondered how things would be if i chose differently from the start.

if i did not come to tkgs, did not opted for physics(#1 mistake), how would things have turned out. well, i guess theres no point thinking since i wasted time when i should have been doing my social studies homework. Oh, anyways, i'm glad gossip girl is back!
Dan Serena Dan Serena Whoo!

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

#131 I can't live without you with me.

First Day Of School is good. Get to meet everyone again. Miss Amanda the most. we laugh at the lamest/un-funniest jokes and cyncism. Shes my comrade. haha! not tong zhi, it sounds gay.
I'm quite happy with the mock test, most importantly miss yeo knows that i actually improved. (hey, i don't just read and youtube kay.).
GOOD DAYYY.

Anyways, i'm not making new year resolutions this year. resolutions are crap, cause you never could do it. i'm making goals instead.

And Goal #1 Finish all my hol homework.

Can't wait for monday. i hope 2009 will be awesome and when i look back. i can be proud and say yes, i did my best in 2009.
No more regrets.