Wanna fall, fall so far, wanna fall, fall so hard

Can't get over Coldplay's Magic. 

Call it magic, call it true
I call it magic when I'm with you
And I just got broken, broken into two
Still I call it magic, when I'm next to you

And I don't, and I don't, and I don't, and I don't
No I don't, it's true
I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
Want anybody else but you

I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
No I don't, it's true
I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
Want anybody else but you

Ooh ooh ooh

Call it magic, cut me into two
And with all your magic, I disappear from view
And I can't get over, can't get over you
Still, I call it magic, such a precious truth

And I don't, and I don't, and I don't, and I don't
No I don't, it's true
I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
Want anybody else but you

I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
No I don't, it's true
I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don't
Want anybody else but you

Wanna fall, I fall so far
I wanna fall, fall so hard
And I call it magic
And I call it true
Call it magic

Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh

And if you were to ask me
After all that we've been through
"Still believe in magic?"
Well yes, I do
Oh yes, I do
Oh yes, I do
Oh yes, I do
Of course I do

I try to slow it down for you

I'm so tired and stressed I feel like screaming at someone or just drown. I can't even think of sleeping. Not with all the work to do. How did things suddenly get so busy I can barely breathe. 

Rainy weather

I know you care 

Ellie Goulding 

Clinging to me
Like a last breath you would breathe
You were like home to me
I don't recognize this street
Please don't close your eyes
Don't know where to look without them
Outside the cars speed by

I've never heard them until now
I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there is trouble ahead I can feel it
You were just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin
And I know you care

I used to run down the stairs
To the door and I thought you were there
To shape to comfort of us
Two lovers locked out of love
Oh, but I know you care
I know it is always been there
But there is trouble ahead I can feel it
You were just saving yourself when you hide it
Yeah I know you care
I see it in the way you stare
As if there was trouble ahead and you knew it
I'll be saving myself from the ruin

I know it wasn't always wrong

But I've never known a winter so cold
No I don't warm my hands in your coat
But I still hope
Cause this is how things ought to have been
And I know the words are there
Wasn't all that it seemed
Why can't I dream
Why can't I dream
Cause I know you care
And I know you care
I know you care
I know you care
I know it's always been there

You sink

So sleepy. 

So much work to do but I'm being a lazy ass today. 

Instead of skyping, Cheryl and I send each other videos and it's nice. Except I sound weird on video. I wonder why. 

And I realize when I think my eyes will roll to the top left/right and I will raise my eyebrows. Find that a highly annoying trait. 

I can't remember. 

I can forget. 

Fairy frogs

It's 2.36am. My lids are heavy and closing more frequently. Looking at the reports and post about MH370 and random posts about saving marine creatures just make me realize how there are so many problems out there and some days all my worries are so self centered, looking through websites for internship or part time jobs to spend the summer wisely, worrying about not being able to get a job, worrying about money, worrying about all the things that would only affect me. Sometimes I fear that despite what I think, I'm still a frog living in a well. Thinking about the flies and insects that hover only at the span of my eye and never once thinking of jumping out to see all the other flies and opportunities I am missing out on. 

It scares me how life is going by so quickly now. The crazy thought that this is now the prime time of my life and how I should  try to live it as gloriously as I could. Yet all I bother to do is let my eyes shut it all out as I retreat back to my well. 

Fucking stressed over projects. 

:( 

What is love

Maybe it's because I haven't truly love other people besides my family and friends. So sometimes when I hear about the different ideas of love, I get confused. I have my own idea. My own definition of what love is to me and it's simple. Truthful, faithful and effort. The one is one who would be faithful to you throughout his life with you, truthful about his feelings, his life and his past. Truthful about his opinions, his desires and his actions. The one must be the one who works through problems with you, help you, guide you and never gives up. It doesn't matter if you've faced countless failures or the unknown. He tries, he put in his all and work for it. Daddy told me something I think I won't ever forget. He say when you meet the one, there wouldn't be any doubt. There wouldn't be thoughts of trying things out first and testing if it works living together because when you've doubts like that, you already known subconsciously he's not the one. The one is someone you would try and walk together into the unknown together, the one you're confident you'd be with forever, the one who makes you brave enough to forget your doubts and worries. 

I know sometimes I lack the experience in the love department. And I worry about the chances I let pass me by or the incessant doubts I have about love. But I think I can recognize it. I am sure I will recognize it when it's here. It wouldn't have to knock. Because it already has the key.