I'm trying to understand the quote "We accept the love we think we deserve."
How is that true when people are innately built to want more, more than they have, more than they need and more than they deserve?

Days are going by quickly and slowly and I'm a little overwhelmed. Besides all that I know that I am happy. I had a wonderful night today and it just gets better everyday. I can't tell if I'm happier because passing each day proves how I can live perfectly well without you or if I'm happier because each day is closer to when I will finally talk to you. I choose to believe in the former. I am ok, I am fine, I am great, I feel infinite at times and most importantly at this present moment I am happy, happier than I remember and happier than I can ever imagine myself to be. And all this takes place without you. That has got to mean something doesn't it? That I am self sufficient, that I am free, that I've no tangible/intangible feelings towards you.

Thinking about all this is strange. All I know Is I have got to make a list of what makes me happy before I feel tiresome. Life will only get better! I believe it will. It will. Because everything I do now would be towards making life better and the entire universe will be on my side as it always have been.

I'm reeking positivity. I want to make this last. I'm rarely positive. I'm glad I've something to hold on to. Glad to e alive, to have so many people I love who loves me. I want to feel like I deserve this. I deserve this.

On a side note, I'm sorry I am not replying your text Cheryl. Replying long texts is getting out of me. I will kick back into the habit of replying you long long texts. Sorry!!

I am so perplexed. Underlying this contentment I feel something unhappy brewing. I will shake this feeling out.

Goodnight.