leave it all behind

Post promos is worse than during promos and before promos. Pw and everything is sucking everything out of me.
i'm tired of working hard.
i'm not complaining about the results i get. i tried my best did all i could. i felt that i deserved more for some subjects, felt that i deserve to get what i get for the rest.
But its like i've this sense that i'm useless. Like i can't get anything right, can't get anything done.
i srsly think i'm going to have like depression soon or like i'm just someone with low self confidence.
Up till now i dont know what i'm looking for. what i want.
But i know i want to get away from everything. from school, from my life.
i've been thinking what if i was born somewhere else, would i still be feeling what i'm feeling now, going through all these shit i'm going through now?
Or what if i'm a risk taker, i took off,and live a day as it is and expereience everything life has to offer and not what i'm told to do, will i be happier?
i'm confused and lost. i've doubts and negative thoughts coming into my mind like practically every single day of my life.
i'm not happy, i'm not satisfied. i feel like nothing.
And like the script says, nothing gets nothing.
but at least when you have nothing, you're spared the disappointment, cause you've nothing to lose.

poetic lyrics

I like to see people reunited. I like to see people run to each other. I like the kissing and the crying. I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change. I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.

“Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer

A place in this world

A Place In This World
by Taylor Swift


I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do


I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh, I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world



i just heard this song, but its probably out ages ago, and i felt like i'm expereiencing the same thing. not knowing what you want, not knowing what you need, not knowing what is coming up. sometimes i think i think too little. its ironic how i think too much for stuff that i can undo, stuff that i can't redo. while i think too little for the future. maybe i should think more. about what i want. and then maybe i will be better than i am now. i think i'm in such a sorry state. its painful to be me. i feel like such a failure. no directions, no aspirations, nothing. i've nothing. imagine this world, filled with so many many things out there while i have nothing.
unbelievable.

you're toxic, i'm slipping under

omgg!! my favouriteee!!!!

And i wanna watch this movie so badly!!



&& the clip belowww isss so hot! shes so funny and cutteee!!!!



her dad is cool righttt!!!! omggg he is so funny andd supportive
and when she walked outt, goshhhh she is so hot!!! hahahahahah, i think she issss sooooo hottttt. i may be in loveeee!

Maybe one day we will be

Helloo promos is soooo going to end soon and I feel slackish alrdy thoughh I still have math and physicss paper :( and the fact that I screwed up my lit and I'm un sure abt econs and very dead for physics and unsure for math is seriously not helping me to studyyy! I'm so so so dead! I hate the idea of being unsure if you can promote and it's like a poison in ur head. You can't get it out and even when you do, it has left it's impacts on you. But I believ in myself and I know that things are going to be okay eventually. Though the future seems bleak and everything doesn't seems to go well, I must still hve faith in myself! Yes!!! For all my loves ones having promos and thosee who finished!! Jiayouuuuuu!!! You can do it!!! Don't ever let anyone,or wors still, yourself, tell you that you can't! You can! And hang in theree! Days after promos aree goinggg to be thee bombb!! Till thenn cyaaaa aligatarrrr!!!


Fate is like an unpopular restaurant with odd waiters
that serves you things you never asked for
and don't always like