I just woke up from my nap and have work in 9 hours time and between that I'd have to sleep more, bathe twice and travel andddd I feel.... Tired. But grateful. I've been trying to find things I'm grateful for and it has been working. I try to remind myself not to beat myself up too much about things beyond my control, I try to remind myself how I should be contented with small gifts life present me, I try to laugh and talk to people I wouldn't usually talk to. Everything is just... Right. Just at the right place and at the right time. I thank god constantly for my family and my friends and really, I don't want to take more than what I deserve. I try to stop being greedy, stop wanting more and being such a dissatisfied brat. No, it's not that I'm not working hard to fight for what I want, but I realize there's rarely any meaning in getting things you want now and losing it eventually. Thing and people and everything changes and sometimes we can do nothing to change it. Considering how the new sem is starting, I'm going to start making changes. I need to open up to my friends in my course more, not in a deliberate fashion, but rather in a genuine one. I need to keep in touch with friends more. I need to study harder and harder and really try my best to pull up my grades this sem. I feel a need to grow up, a need to push myself further so I can achieve things I want based on hard work and not merely expect good results to fall on my lap or lament about how hard it is to do well. Looking at next week and how I've lectures, a welcome dinner for a cca I'm joining with Lynette and Kexin , dinner with the girls, meet ups with friends, work, I'm trying to not feel suffocated. I really hope I changes
this sem. If not I really don't know when I will eventually learn to grow up. Sighhh
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