wytyr

I'm exhausted. Finished work at 5.30 and i didn't join the girls for a movie cos my cramps was acting up so badly. Reached home and had junk food that failed to make me feel better. Received a bold text seemingly joking but i can't take a joke for fuck ok. I hate how people make demands on you at times and all you can think about is who the fuck you think you are. I have people i want to meet and just relax with but the whole reading week is filled with project meetings and assignments and revision i feel like i am fucking drowning. 2 more days of work. I can deal with that. The last time i felt relaxed was the impromptu study date with Kexin, we talked a bit and i spend most of the time trying to understand shear force and bending moments. I want to whine about how i am back to not understanding a shit about all these forces and moments but i have no one to blame but myself. I read somewhere that compared to men woman are less likely to want to relive their younger days. that's bull. I miss studying physics with Cheryl. yes, studying physics. i look at that picture and i miss comfort in the knowledge that my best friend is in Singapore, aljunied, estimatedly 10km away from me. I miss the days where my biggest problem is a problem not even worth shit now. I miss being young, achingly naive and hopeful about my future. I miss being 16 where i fall asleep making resting sounds cos i am comfortable. Now i just fall into nothing, i sleep almost instantly cos i am so tired and sad.

I am so tired now i don't need people telling me what i should do just to make them feel better, i don't need to know what is going on in your life unless i am asking. I don't need to meet you unless i want to. all these obligations and shit is not what i owe you.