C

A thought catalog article ode shared with me reminded me once again of a part of me I don't like to admit too often. I don't like to care, I refuse to care and reject caring for those I am not used to care for. As I was chatting with Viv on the bus regarding her problems and how I would deal with it, she showed me how the way I would deal with things reflect my refusal to care. I am not very selfish. I care sufficiently about most things and care deeply for those who matters to me. As I grow older I surround myself with my own notion of logic and belief so I can stand on a different dimensions from mistakes. I an almost sure that's how I want to live for now until I realize how far away I am from opening up my heart. Everyday I'm distancing myself from what I am seeking and trying to talk myself into believing that what I am doing is right. I look at myself and at those who have loved and lost. You know what the sad part is? I am not less broken, just more crippled by selfishness and timid-ness.