Congratulations, you won.
But why don't I feel like I won?
Sigh.... In the middle of the night and morning I feel so deep down in everything that upsets me and between closing my eyelids and weary mind, I realize how no matter how much I convince myself I walked out of this a winner. I lost. That's the truth. I lost when I let it matter and even though I came out of this faster and stronger, all that matters is how I was momentarily duped into thinking something could be real here.
But I don't hate you anymore. I really don't. You've apologize way too much and though some of it got to me, it's still not enough to convince me that the next time I meet someone in my life who might just have a hint of hope, I should not believe that, I should run. Fast. Because like always, nobody bothers to run after me anyway.
Okay. Sleep. Stop thinking.
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