one door closes and another one opens.

Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before.
Cassie Ainsworth, Skins

i remember reading from somewhere that, you only live life once, but the way i'm living it, once is enough. i think its like my 2.4. like i dont bother trying to pass, so i've to keep running and running and running. but why do i've to run like repeatedly if i'm going to fail anyway? i think to look at this positvely, the teachers just want to push me to reach my best, or to aim for what is seemingly impossible. i think i need to change my mindset. mummy told me once that i'm too negative. amelia says that i dont believe in myself enough. i cant remember when was the last time i believed in myself, believed that i can do it, than i can make it. well, i do occassionally but i probably dont really really believe so deep down inside me. i think i've to change my mindset. and maybe learn more about myself along the way. hmmmmm, self discoveryy??
well, i've to go study soon. i think i'm studying too little. its bad. sigh.