Everything's quiet when it's you I'm with

Woke up today and I felt better but not so good. Did some simple stirfry for lunch  and bought juice for breakfast. I listened to Jason Mraz new album on the bus and I particularly love The live room sessions. Pure music, so raw and beautiful. I look at the buildings passing by in the bus, on the train and I feel very disconnected to all around me. 

It's fine. I was better than yesterday. I read jiayi reply at work and it made me cry. My wifey is the best emailer on earth. If there is such a thing. Even though I feel the soreness on my ribs and my shoulders and my arms, as if the yoga made me carry myself and it got to heavy for me to bear I feel the strain even the next day. As if I am too much and not enough at the same time. As if I am too weak to even lift myself up. It's fine. I think the moon that is squaring the stars is moving, the sun hiding behind the shadows and clouds are moving, the stars have left and is moving to some other sky. It is fine. Let it all move, let it all go. 

I just need to breathe. Need to take in all of it, need to let all of it out. I need to sit with the good and the bad, I need to choose both, without reservations and only acceptance and forgiveness. I am far away from where I want to be. It's fine. Like everything else I will move, until I get there.