Discover me, discovering you

Currently sitting at an outdoor garden of terminal 1. Despite my slight worry that I don't have enough sun protection on, I'm feeling much better cos I was sneezing non stop from all the dust. As I look on at the connection area that links people from the airport to their plane, I feel... Rooted. I no longer feel the need to be leaving what I've behind even for a couple of days. I feel right, comfortable where i am right now. And it's nice. Nice to not want to take flight and crave leaving things behind and waiting around hoping to leave. 

Yesterday night I was doing some minor stalking, terribly embarrassing but true. I shouldn't have done so though. Does seeing people that disappointed you before currently living well upset you? I know I shouldn't hope that people is living in misery but it upset me sometimes how other people move on and leave behind things so easily. I just hate knowing sometimes that I still feel some things for people that don't matter. I don't want to hate, to pine. I just want to feel nothing towards these people. Nothing, Indifference. 

I just feel that it's hard to tell people how you feel sometimes. They don't know who you are well enough to know how much little things will affect you. They can't stand from your perspective and see things the way you do. I think it's scary meeting new people some times. Having to explain to them why you feel the way you feel. It's just... Exhausting. But that's what we have to do because slowly people in our life now wouldn't be here in years to come and people come and people go and that's sad but I guess in a few years time you wouldn't be who you are now and maybe then the things and people that matter now wouldn't matter then.