My dad told me people work their ass off for things they want especially if they are hungry for success.

I'm not hungry. I wonder If I ever was hungry.

Right now all I feel is how I've been floating by and rowing randomly as and when I like.

I feel like if I were a casino game, I would never win. I'm playing against the banker. And the player never wins. The banker always does.

I wonder how it feels like to be like gold. To feel like gold. When I flip I coin, I would call heads and it would be heads. The entire universe would conspire with me to succeed. I can never lose.

But that's not me. I never win.
I always lose.