It must have been love. But it is over now.

I've been thinking of my infatuation with love recently. I'm seriously infatuated with love. Somedays I'm slightly obsessed with love stories and hoping that love would drop on my feet soon. Every other day I would be all nonchalant and dismissing love as unnecessary and redundant in my life. I don't need it/I'm still young/love hurts, you're better off alone.
I think the reason why I'm hung up on it is because I don't possess it. You know how you only take interest about something when others have it while you don't or you idolize it too much and hoping it would shed some light on you. That's the way I explain my situation. I've been in a 'dry spell' for way too long(in my opinion) and probably watching too many unrealistic dramas and witnessing the sweet moments of love from my friends, I can't deny it makes me want to be in love. But my dad is right. I'm still young (though not too young), love struck at times when it's the right moment and times when it isn't, at times when you're ready and at times when you're not but it comes eventually. I have to believe that. That when it's my time I will get what I think I want or maybe not. It's true that there are a million other things to want in the world. And there is no reason to be hung up on one of the more glamorized stuff. And not anyone will do! That's the problem. That's what I'm worried of. That nobody will do, that after all this while I've raised and unrealistic expectations of love and I will never be happy enough, satisfied, with what I'm given. I don't want to think about it. I'm trying not to but it's hard. But I'm trying to see the bright side of this situation. I'm learning to be independent. Just in case I have no one to rely on in future, I can say I can rely on myself. Live and survive alone. Plus, there is this saying that goes, you live alone,you die alone. Everything else is just an illusion. Which I partly believe in. And most importantly I have two great loves in my life. My family and my friends. I can have more but I'm happy and lucky enough to have them.
Maybe it's time I learn to love myself.