Therearedaysyoucantsayfuckitidontwanttoremember

"I want to hear about everything since we’ve been apart. I want to start over. Let’s talk about the holidays we missed. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. All days when I wanted to reach out to you but didn’t. Tell me about the times you wanted to say ‘next song, please’ when The Weeknd started playing in your friends car and it reminded you of when I surprised you with concert tickets and I thought that was the best thing I’d ever done for someone. That doesn’t say much about me, but that was love. Love was having one hundred dollars to my name and still finding the ends to take you to dinner and buy a pack of malboros. Read this and tell me I’m crazy again. ‘It’s not healthy to get your hopes up’ and I know that but you have to understand that’s not what this is about. Tell me about the nights, over and over that you didn’t forget about me, there just wasn’t a reason to remember - and I’ll tell you that there were days that I wanted to call but never did. Let’s bullshit about work and the exhausting customers and how we could have been tired and happy together but never quite were. But let’s not look back because that never works. You’ve never asked what’s in my moleskine but if you ever did I’d probably never tell you that there’s a dozen pages, some scribbled out and some barely legible, about you. You would never read it and I could never forget what it says. I want to hear what you did with our polaroids and I’ll lie to you, ‘I’m sorry, I lost the ones that I had.’ What did you do with the three books that I gave you, anyway? Let’s talk about how they became part of the the foundation of our relationship, how we started out with me sending you quotes and how it became nothing more than an over-romanticizing mistake that worked only for a while. It’s because of that, I want to start over. Life has been dull, I want you to tell me I’m crazy again. 

-from my moleskine dated january 19th"

Chipotlechickenburrito.tumblr.com


This makes me feel like I sat out in the rain too long and when it finally stopped, it didn't make any difference.